She tried to control her shaky
hand as the razor TA-touched
her leg
but
a prick, nick
too many and
blood
trickled
down
down
flesh
once again
a stream of vodka unconsciousness.
@laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration: 3WW (control, flesh, razor)
16 comments:
Hmmmm............
Yes! achol has a way of not allowing us to fuction.
Like your write today.
Blessings
Vodka will make the razor appear double, it is a lethal combination I think :-)
My, goodness don't drink and shave!
Lots of fun, thanks
Mosk (22 years sober, this Friday, btw)
yes vodka will do that.
i wonder if it was intentional ..
good one ..
Sad and cutting..and yet the imagery is perhaps familiar to many of us (unfortunately) The brevity makes your carefully chosen words even sharper..and more powerful..Jae
Ouch, yes, I agree with Jae, your words are so powerful because they are so briefly stated. Ouch again.
Very good, neat and authentic.
Nice piece about a not so nice subject.
If you drink use an electric razor! If you drink vodka hairy is good!
This reader, who once lived half a decade with a blackout tequila drinker, really appreciated this work. Great stuff.
Good work with the three words, Laurie. Very realistic. K
Compact and sharp wording. I like the simplicit imagery it paints.
It could be called a Bloody Laurie as a throwback to a Bloody Mary. That's the image you painted for me. :)
Sharp little poem! And a nice reminder to keep sharp blades away from whatever hairy body part needs tending after a night of indulging.
Very sharp, succinct use of the prompts. The cutting and the drinking hand in hand are a dangerous combination.
The spareness and choice of words
makes this poem almost seductive,
despite the sensitive nature of
this subject.
Post a Comment