Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Prowler

Footsteps like staccato notes dart across
the patio covered in shards of terra cotta,
broken remnants of a petulant attitude
pushed to the limit, metallic fuses
sparked in rebellion when things aren't
going his way. Every scar on his lithe body
but a latch leading to internal exile
where dubious resentment boils, billows to
surging points of no return; and now he
cowers back to his home in the woods, tail
between his legs until the next time.

@laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl (staccato, dart, billows, ruins, metallic, exile, fuses, petulant, dubious, rebellion, latch, scar)

Also linked to IGWRT's Open Link Monday

33 comments:

Brian Miller said...

Every scar on his lithe body
but a latch leading to internal exile
where dubious resentment boils, billows to
surging points of no return

that whole section there is tight laurie...and a place that man-y an animal may know...smile.s...

Dave King said...

so clever to be able to do this to this standard. I'm full of admiration.

Marianne said...

Clever use of the words! I especially like: "petulant attitude pushed to the limit, metallic fuses sparked in rebellion."

vivinfrance said...

good wordling, Laurie

imnotaverse said...

Short poems with all the words are my favourites! Nice and tight.

Daydreamertoo said...

At first I thought you were writing about an angry and petulant teen, just like the one I seem to have on my hands right not LOL...then I realised it was a creature come out to forage for food or whatever... Maybe.
Another excellent write!

nan said...

Great wordle. I especially liked the ending, when it all came together... tail between his legs and all.

brenda w said...

Laurie, this is fantastic. I did not realize who the prowler was until he turned to go into the woods. It's a gift to write this well.

annell said...

Yes, you did a good job! Nothing wasted!

flaubert said...

Laurie, I love this story. I didn't know who the prowler was either until the ending. Good write.

Pamela

barbara said...

Neat, neat twist on the expected!

Jebbi said...

Gorgeous writing.

margo said...

What all the others have said! A vivid scene from beginning to end.

Mary said...

Nothing much to add to what has been said. I do LOVE the ending, Laurie. Because I am so late, i am sharing a link here:

http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2012/02/wordle-42.html

irene said...

I like the tail betweeen the legs ending as well, Laurie. Terrific wordling.

Mr. Walker said...

Laurie, I like the ambiguity of this. Not sure if the prowler is man or animal (though man is an animal - but you know what I mean), whether the tail between the legs is literal or figurative. It works either way, of course, which is what I like.

Richard

Cathy said...

Oh those mask bandits, they cute faces but they are troublemakers.

Cute poem

Teresa said...

Such wonderful description!

Kerry O'Connor said...

You work wonders with a whirl of words.

Marian said...

love this line: "broken remnants of a petulant attitude"

hedgewitch said...

Feral and fine, Laurie--everyone's already quoted my gave parts, so a second here on all of them.

Robert Gibson said...

"Every scar on his lithe body
but a latch leading to internal exile
where dubious resentment boils, billows to
surging points of no return"

Excellent right there!

turtlememoir said...

A great use of the wordle words, Laurie, though I found it a bit unsettling - I don't much care for intruders and am glad this one slunk back to the woods (with any luck s/he/it will stay away). This part I thought brilliant:

Every scar on his lithe body
but a latch leading to internal exile
where dubious resentment boils, billows to
surging points of no return

Heaven said...

Nice weaving of words into a story....these kind of prompt stumpts ~

cosmos cami said...

Wow!
Well done on that prompt.
A compelling poem.

Kay L. Davies said...

Fantastic, Laurie, to put all those words together to not only make sense but also to awaken emotions. Very very well done.
K

When Words Escape said...

Love the use of staccato, Laurie...I had thought to use it along with a music reference, but ended up not doing so.

Good wordle!

~Paula

Semaphore said...

You deftly placed clues at the very beginning - the staccato steps, the shards of pottery - so that the entire descriptive verse is consistent, right up to the end.

Susannah said...

"the patio covered in shards of terra cotta, broken remnants of a petulant attitude pushed to the limit,"

- Nicely done Laurie! You used the wordle words well.

Margaret said...

Every scar on his lithe body
but a latch leading to internal exile

Now that is writing! Amazing what can be done with word prompts! I'm in awe.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Wow!

Janet said...

Great write!

teri said...

Well I finally made it to your porch and I swear I found the shards of terra cotta all over the place when I got here! Well done...thanks for chatting on FB this morning.