Monday, January 2, 2012

Reveal

unravel truth
travel within
your beating heart
seldom seen
translucent sheen
two souls apart
release lament
appease guaranteed
a refreshing start
inhale honesty
exhale façade
reveal

@laurie kolp

At Real Toads, Kerry challenged us to create a new poetry form. My form is called Raveled Rhyme. Here are the guidelines:

first word of line 1 rhymes with first word of line 2
last word of line 4 rhymes with last word of line 5
first word of line 7 rhymes with first word of line 8
last word of line 10 rhymes with first word of line 11
lines 3, 6, 9 do not rhyme; or they can rhyme with each other
last line is one word/ same as title
lines can be of any length 
unlimited number of lines

**

Here's a tighter variation excluding the stand alone rhymes with longer lines:

Emancipation

Splashes of deep cinnamon
clash with the muted décor,
walls resemble the forest floor
balls of explosives drop white
swirls of leaves at death’s fight.
Girls in pink gingham with scented
tissue offer the crowd breasts augmented
issues of sexual prowess. The men agree
voices howl like CRACKS of a tree,
choices garnered at the local dive;
emancipation.

@laurie kolp

14 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Very creative!

Mary said...

Hi Laurie, I like both the form of your poem and its message. I like especially the idea of inhaling honesty and exhaling facade. Oh yes!

Patricia Anne McGoldrick said...

Like this format! Happy New Year!

brenda w said...

Awesome stone, Laurie. This is my introduction to the form, thank you for that.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Whoa! Love the poem - the form looks incredibly intricate. But then EVERY form does, to me, hee hee. Good job.

Mary Mansfield said...

Very nice form, really suits the message of the poem. Liked it a lot.

LauraX said...

wonderful Laurie...I adore the first two lines in particular...but beautiful through and through.

ravenpress said...

Laurie ... the first poem is so very true and well expressed. A very Happy New Year to you. You are one of those people who have been important to me during 2011. You have helped me regain my faith ... thank you.

Laurie Kolp said...

Thank you all.

Old Raven- You've been an inspiration to me, too. May 2012 fill you with many blessings.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Wow, Laurie!! I am speechless..
What an interesting and intricate form. This must take a tremendous amount of concentration. Not only have you worked all the rhymes, but each poem is so meaningful beyond its form. Hats off!

Judy SheldonWalker said...

Such an interesting way to compose a poem. I liked the wording and the beat, but I do not try to follow a formula. I admire those who are disciplined enough to do that. I just let the poem take place in my mind and try to catch it as it unfolds, like a butterly. You are truly talented. God bless.

Mary Mansfield said...

Like the second poem even better than the first one! Definitely going to have to give this form a spin.

Mary Mansfield said...

Gave your form a whirl today! Here's a link to my attempt. Had a lot of fun with it.

http://marybmansfield.blogspot.com/2012/01/splash.html

Traci B said...

Fun form, Laurie! I like the message of the first poem, and the way you played with the rhymes in the second was excellent.